


Normal morning, normaĺ thoughts and normal problems

by Ohwelpthiswilldo



Category: Soukoku - Fandom, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Because Chuuya, End deep, In the eny my creativity came and bit me in the butt, Like 3 am early, M/M, Rated for language at the end, Wrote this really fast really early, again sorry, sorry - Freeform, starts fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-11-28 15:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11420775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohwelpthiswilldo/pseuds/Ohwelpthiswilldo
Summary: Starts Fluffy ends Deep.Originally for skk week 2017 day 7.Prompt: Free day





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the end my wish to ruin the fluff was to great.
> 
> ENJOY!!!

 

 

Slowly blinking Dazai awoke. Smiling content as he takes in the sight in front of him. Even as a normal occurrence Dazai was still stunned at the sight of his petite partner sleeping beside him. The brunet had made it a habit to wake up before Chuuya. He loved peppering Chuuyas serene sleeping face with soft kisses, languidly combing through russet locks and to relish in the tiny noises of comfort uttered by the redhead. This went one for a few more minutes until blue eyes slowly cracked open. The redhead blinked a few times, bathing in the light touches of his lover. Tiredly he looks up to meet two warm brown orbs scoffing as he sees the lazy smile painted on his partners face:” Were you watching me sleep again pervert?” Dazais laugh floats through the air:” My, my why so grumpy so early in the morning Chuu-Chuu?” Chuuya just grumbled angrily in his pillow for a few seconds until he decides now that he is awake he might as well get up and make breakfast since the mackerel sure as hell won´t do it. Just as he tries to move out of the bed a bandaged hand grabs his wrist and pulls him back down. Now again cuddling with Dazai he sights:” Shitty Dazai let go of me.” “Nope Chuuya´s so tiny your degraded to my personal snuggle item!” At this the smaller one cried out frustrated and struggled to rid himself off Dazais dead weight. Sadly Dazai had him in a death grip and after a few futile seconds of struggling he gave up his resistance, it wasn´t as if he didn´t enjoy this clingy side of his lover. The smaller men almost dozed off again when suddenly a loud noise interrupted their docile morning, laughing he wheezed out:” Now, if you would let go off me I could go and make us breakfast and your stomach wouldn´t need to scare me this much again.” With that he gave his lover one last push and ventured off to the kitchen. All the while the brunet gulped down his slight embarrassment and decided to instead let his gaze follow Chuuyas retreating figure, appreciating his mussed hair and beautiful figure clad only in one of Dazais shirts and his boxers. The brunet wasted more time laying in bed until his stomach decided to remind him that he was supposed to join Chuuya for breakfast. Sighing he gets up and follows the delicious smell to the kitchen, where he finds Chuuya making French Toast for breakfast. Upon his entering the redhead looks up with a faint smile, which only intensifies when he sees Dazai struggling to keep in a yawn. The taller men ventures over to Chuuya unable to keep his hands to himself. So instead he snugs them around the smaller ones waist and rests his head atop Chuuyas.” So small and comfortable!”, he coos. Not dignifying this with a response Chuuya just keeps cooking, happily humming some French song and somehow managing to brew some coffee for Dazai and himself while doing so. Eventually the redhead finishes and the two men settle down for breakfast, their playful banter never dying down. Shortly after breakfast they both finish their morning routine and part ways right outside their apartment complex with a chaste kiss.

 

 

 

Chuuya starts to slowly walk towards the headquarters of the port mafia thinking about their domestic morning, and how he wishes they could stay like that forever, without a worry in the world. Sighing he shakes his head to get this dumb idea out of his head, Dazai will just leave him again anyway. He knows he should trust in Dazais words, his promises but four years of not seeing each other is a long time. The redhead can´t trust him with his whole again, not yet at least. Memories of the time when Dazai first left four years ago bubble up to the front of his mind, the feeling that he hadn´t been enough to make him stay, mindless crying the night he discovered that the bastard left, having hollow dreams about the taller men, drinking until he passed out, giving himself to complete strangers in search for warmth and comfort, telling himself that Dazai had only toyed with him, never had had feelings for him and that him leaving is his punishment for his foolishness. Still Chuuya had struggled and fixed himself, never again will he go through this because of that bastard. On top of that he still doesn´t know the reason for the idiots leave of the port mafia. Angrily Chuuya rubs away the tears gathering in his eyes at his overwhelming feeling of loneliness and tsks.

 

At the same time Dazai heads for the ADA, also lost in deep thoughts. The brunet thinks about how many more lazy mornings he will be able spend like this with his little hat rack, the truce will come to an end eventually and then what? They would be working against each other. Can a relationship really work under such circumstances? And there where other factors to be regarded as well, what if Mori finds out and uses Chuuya against him. Dazai shakes his head he could find solutions to those problems, these questions where just him trying to find a reason to end this relationship and flee before he could be hurt or even worse before he would hurt Chuuya. Despite what everyone else said the brunet knew about his quirks and he feared one day he would hurt Chuuya through them and the redhead would just leave him.Pushing a lanky hand through his brown mop of hair he sighs knowing that he doesn´t deserve Chuuya ,not after what he put him through. Biting his lips he thought selfishly that he couldn´t let the smaller one leave. Never. It had been a huge step for him to admit to himself that he loved Chuuya. It had only been four years he had spent with the agency, learning to acknowledge his own humanity and emotions. Again he shakes his head and decides to go for a refreshing drowning to get his head free, maybe the lovly maiden walking before him would even join in?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later that day when they where in their home again Chuuya and Dazai sat down and decided to discuss their relationship seriously. No more hiding, if this should work they had to work out their issues. Even though there had been screaming, fighting, tears and breakdown the next day they woke up next to each other and maybe their relationship wasn´t magically perfect but now they both believed in a future together,


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked here's the discussion Dazai and Chuuya has in the Chapter prior to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really hard to write so i'm sorry if it sucks. I think the reason that it was so hard to write was because these two wouldn't normaly do something like that, but anyway please read.

As soon as Dazai enters his and the redheads apartment he knows something is up. He spots familiar elegant shoes which he definitly hadn´t been expecting since Chuuya normally came home way later than Dazai. Him being home could only mean that Chuuya hasn´t finished his work and instead pushed it away for tomorrow in order to be free early tonight. This was quite concerning considering the workaholic nature of his lover, there were only two possible scenarios for Dazai to justify this action: One: he fucked up and Chuuya was pissed or Two: today was an important anniversary for their relationship and Chuuya was also pissed because he forgot. Either way the brunet knew he was walking into a hellhole. So he inhaled deeply and decided to just jump in, but as he entered the living room and laid eyes on his pretty lover his confusion only grew. The fiery redhead was seated at the dining table surrounded by an air of melancholy lost in thoughts. The taller man furrowed his brows in confusion, normally Cuuya was pretty wasted when angry but right now the redhead seemed sober and Dazai couldn´t spot a single drop of alcohol near his lover. Tiredly the sitting redhead lifted his head, turning towards Dazai, suggesting he had just noticed him. A small sad smile graced Chuuyas lips, so disturbingly unfitting for his lovely lover that Dazai takes a few steps towards his lover in the in vain attempt to comfort him, protect him without knowing what hurt his love so much. A voice cuts through the silence so hollow and blank that Dazai needs a moment to realise that Chuuya had been the one who uttered the words:” We need to talk.”

 

Chuuya didn´t want this conversation. He wanted that everything stayed the same, that they could keep pretending their docile life together isn´t heavily loaded with memories and that they can keep this up forever without thinking about the future, their past. The redhead sighs remembering the words Kouyou had uttered as he had told her about his worries:” You both need to stop running from your past together lad. The current situation will destroy your relationship, you both will crumble under self-doubt and empty worries. If you really want a long-time relationship with that good for nothing Dazai you need to have a decent talk with him, how should you work if you know nothing about the others feelings and worries.” With that Kouyou had ushered him out telling him that the decision lay with him. A shaky exhale, a whispered:” Stop running”, to himself and he turns around facing Dazai with determination. “What do you think of our relationship?”, he asks just to start somewhere and inwardly cringes because that had been a really bad start and he had a feeling it would only go downhill from here on.

 

Dazai actually flinched at hearing those words. Instantly the most frightening question formed in his head: “Is Chuuya breaking up with me?” Those were famous break up lines, weren´t they? But why? What had he done wrong? What had he missed? Fortunately Chuuya spoke up again, clearing his throat awkwardly:” That came out wrong. I jut feel that we should talk about our relationship, 

we can´t deny our history and it isn´t healthy to just suppress all the feelings and worries we carried over in this relationship from our past.” The brunet couldn´t help himself and let out a light huff of relief, before he puts his facade back on. A big false grin forms on his face as he singsongs:”My Chuuya why so gloomy? I love you and you love me, what´s more to say? We´re fine no need to dig out all the dirty, old secrets.” Apparently he had pushed all of Chuuyas buttons, when the murderous look in the cerulean eyes of the redhead were anything to go by, With a loopside grin the taller male prepares for the punch from the redhead, that will surely end this argument before it even really began. 

 

Chuuya trembled in rage. How dare he making fun of him when he just opened up and wanted to talk about it like the adults that they were. Still he knows Dazai just wants to end this conversation by making him blow up. Grinding his teeth and clenching his shaking fists he tries to calm himself. He won´t give in. Breathing heavily he decides to say the one thing that will insure that they will have this conversation, but at the same time will hurt the both of them deeply. Chuuya lifts his head, accusing watery cerulean eyes meeting surprised brown ones and he says with a voice dripping sadness:” But you left Dazai. You left me all alone, despite everything. I can´t look past that. You just up and left me from one night to the other and I don´t even know the damn reason for it. What hinders you from doing it again? I´m scared Dazai, so scared of waking up one day and you having left me alone again,. I deserve an answer for fucks sake, I went through so much because of it!” 

 

 

 

 

Dazais face fell. For a second a flash of hurt was visible, showing how deep Chuuyas words had cut. The brunet didn't want to talk about the past, hated it, even though he knew it would have to happen at some point but he still wanted to stall as much time as possible. But to make Chuuya cry had never been his intention and he shall be damned if he disregards the petite redheads feelings like that. Instead he strives over to the table his lover is sitting on and places himself on the opposite chair of him. For a brief second theirs silence only their quiet breathing is heard, the air heavy with tension, both preparing for what will come. How far do they want to take this? How deep will they dig? How much will it hurt? Chuuya had made the start and now it was on Dazai to follow through.“ You're right, you deserve an answer. I should have given you one way earlier but that event still affects me and…..it isn't that easy to just tell you….i've kept this to myself for so long and the longer I kept it hidden the harder it got to say it out loud, secrets burn into your heart and revealing them gets harder and harder until you would rather choke on them than telling them.“, Dazais voice sounds hoarse and he feels like crying but still he pushes on, wanting to finally right things with the love of his life,“ You remember Odasaku?“ With that Dazai tells the tragedy that made him leave, shaking, crying, finally letting his emotions reign completely. At the end he's met with a shocked silence . He's glad for that, needing a moment to get himself in check again, shaking of the memories haunting him until this day. Even though he just presented one of his most personal secrets to Chuuya he isn't finished yet, he needs for Chuuya to understand him, all of him, otherwise all of his speech before would be pointless“ Chuuya please understand, in that night i've left the port mafia i've never left you. I always observed you and I saw what I did to you. I didn't deserve you after I just left you to deal with the consequences even though I knew what would happen. I still don't deserve you but I'm a selfish man and couldn't stay away much longer.“    
„I'm glad you are.“, Chuuya doesn't look at him as he says so and Dazai himself is way to scared to now look at the redhead himself. Instead he slouches down in his seat feeling all the guilt for leaving Chuuya without any explanation for so long crashing over himself.“ If you hadn't been that selfish I still wouldn't have you back. All my pain would have been pointless but now at least I can say that all that has brought me here where I finally can have a relationship with you.“  Tears rolled down on Dazais cheeks but he couldn't care less, completely fascinated that Chuuya didn't blame him, hate him, that he wouldn't leave him. Doing nothing against the tears he says, with a slight hiccup,:“ I've always loved you, even way back when we both worked for the port mafia but I never allowed myself to be human so I only ever realized it when I already worked for the ADA. “B-But please Dazai, please promise me that you will never ever leave me again.” “ I promise Chuuya, I would never, never, ever hurt you willingly.”, Dazai says shakily, starting to pull himself together again. The brunet takes a deep breath, preparing himself to bare everything to Chuuya, it went against everything Mori and the mafia taught him but it was necessary and for Chuuya he would do it all and even more. His voice was impossible soft, his still wet eyes locking with Chuuyas wide cerulean ones and he almost whispered in the silence:” Your my weakness Chuuya. For your sake I would do everything and that scares me, it scares me so much. I just know that this will be my downfall. What when we have to fight again? I can´t fight against you again. I can´t stand the thought of you getting hurt and thinking about how I could be the one who hurt you almost cripples me. Not to mention what could happen to you if Mori found out. He would use you. You know he would use you. He´s ruthless. He would use you to get to me, to get me back into the mafia, to betray the ADA. The scary thing is that I don´t know what I would choose. No that´s wrong I know exactly what I would choose, I would choose death. I can´t betray the ADA and I can´t be responsible for your pain.” Snapping out of his trance Dazai notices that he had leaned over the table, looking at Chuuya desperately. For a few beats there is only silence and the both of them seem frozen in place. Suddenly Chuuya seems to break out of his stupor and starts giggling manically. “ T-That´s what you´ve been worrying so much about? Are you an Idiot?”, the redhead giggles, reaching up to cradle Dazais face in his hands, moving forward to make their foreheads touch lightly,” Do you seriously think your the only one feeling like that? Because if that´s the case you´re even dumber than I thought. I...feel...the...same. Did you hear me? I feel like you, I´m not able to hurt you either, I know what could happen when people find out. Still, I believe we have nothing to fear. We don´t have to fight each other Dazai, as an executive I won´t have to fight the ADA except when there´s no other way and besides no one gets seriously injured when the organisations fight. We will be okay and regarding Mori whatever you think about him he can´t do everything he likes, if he tries to use me against you he would have to go up against Anee-san, ma and against my men, even Mori thinks twice before starting an internal war in the port mafia.” “I know that. I already thought of all that but I´m still scared.”, Dazai looked at his lover pleadingly, hoping that he would understand. “I know, I know these feelings, these insecurities can´t just stop from one moment to the other but it´s a start. These feelings won´t ruin what we have, just promise me that you come and talk to me if these feelings take overhand. Don´t bury it inside, talk to me, I will try everything to help you and if I can just listen and tell you all the facts you know already over and over again, I will do it. Just, just please don´t shut me out, let me help you. Promise me and I promise the same.” “I promise Chuuya.”, Dazai smiled lightly,” I love you.” “I love you too, asshole.” 

 

They kiss each other, a kiss full of love and so much more. The kiss seems to go on for forever, slow and perfect and like heaven, like arriving in a save haven after sailing on the stormy sea. Shortly, the kiss felt like home.

 

As the need for oxygen gets overwhelming they pull apart, smiling at each other., smiling the smile of lovesick at each other. “It´s late”, Chuuya finally says, “we should go to sleep.” Dazai only nods, looking at his chibi with fondness. With that the head to bed silently, having exchanged enough words for today and needing the silence to sort things out in their head. 

 

Finally in bed they lay beside each other awkwardly for a second, before Chuuya decides to snuggle up to Dazai, laying his head on the brunets chest, throwing an arm and a leg over the lanky figure of his lover and closing his eyes. Dazais sigh is almost inaudible as he starts to card through the red hair of his lover, stroking up and down on the leg thrown over him. The brunet rolls over on his side, facing his chibi, pulling him impossibly closer and closing his eyes.

 

With that they both start to drift of to sleep and maybe Chuuya had been right, their problems might not just fade until tomorrow but it was a start. And wouldn´t that be enough for now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Pls leave a comment or kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Please leave a kudo and/ or a comment!!!  
> I would Love comments To discuss the ending Part of the fiction.  
> Nur anyway have a nice day!


End file.
